Living with a Sibling Who Is Ill

Since 2004, Eloah Rocha has served as a counselor at Los Angeles Children’s Hospital, where she leads activities for the siblings of hospitalized children. Eloah Rocha has participated in a number of studies that examine how children of different ages cope with having a sibling who is seriously ill.

Thus far, when researchers have attempted to understand the experiences of children whose siblings are very sick, they have usually asked parents how their healthy offspring were feeling. Recently, however, a group of scientists from the UK’s Lancaster University evaluated 12 smaller studies in which children had been asked about their own experiences.

The study team found that when healthy children are involved in helping the family through the struggle of an ill child, whether that means helping with household chores or helping to care for the sick sibling, they tend to feel more closely connected to their families.

However, when parents separate their non-ill children from the experience, often in an attempt to shield them, they are less likely to talk to their parents about what they are feeling. These children are also less apt to disclose any other struggles that they are facing, possibly so that they will not upset their parents.

These findings support the belief that when a child is chronically ill, the care plan should include support for other children in the family, as well as for the parents. The information may be particularly useful to child life specialists, who can use it to help parents understand how to meet the needs of all of their children during the illness of one.