How Healthy Children Are Affected by a Seriously Ill Sibling

Eloah Rocha | Counselor at Los Angeles Childrens Hospital

Eloah Rocha has been working as a child counselor for several years. Holding a bachelor’s degree in child psychology from Boulder University, she oversees the youth activity center as a counselor at the Los Angeles Children's Hospital. Since starting this position over a decade ago, Eloah Rocha has completed several studies on how children cope with having a sick sibling.

Having a sick child in the family is draining on both the parents, healthy siblings, and other family members who are closely involved. Healthy children react to a sick sibling in a number of ways. Some may begin acting out in various settings while others strive to be perfect and strong for their family. Still others may react in both ways. Many healthy siblings of sick children exhibit changes in sleep patterns, appetite, and performance in school. They often struggle with expressing their emotions and the inability to express what they need frequently fuels their new behavior.

Similar to their parents, healthy siblings of sick children feel several emotions and have a variety of thoughts. Many worry that their sibling will die or that they somehow caused the disease that made their brother or sister sick. Additionally, they often are fearful that other members of their family will also become sick. Some of the most common emotions experienced by healthy siblings are guilt and anger. Children may be angry that their parents spend so much time with their sibling or their sibling no longer has to do chores. They also often feel guilty about being healthy or about feeling anger towards their sibling.